Astonished

it has taken me 22 years, 343 days to realize how much of a boy i really am. not only did i sway away from God, but i also swayed from my calling. my dream, the one thing that makes me, well... me. =)

in these 22 years and 343 days i have made some horrible mistakes. hating my family when all they were doing was trying to teach me right from wrong. as i look back on it now i should have listened and payed attention more. and taking there WISDOM, not criticism seriously. i didn't know it at that time but they were making me into a man, whats sad? whats sad is that i didn't see it. i was blind and totally oblivious to what they were doing. its the price i pay in becoming a man.

along with my family it took me, joining the army, moving to Seattle, Washington, and getting married for me to realize how much i messed up. i kept digging the hole deeper, and deeper. so far down i thought no one could pull me out. so as my foolish and stupid self does, i dig it deeper thinking i could dig my way to china. but people let me tell you before you reach china you go through the center of the earth. center of the earth. It is approximately 4000°C at the centre of the Earth.

To put this in context:
The centre of the Sun is approximately 15 million°C
The surface of the Sun is 5500°C
Iron melts at 1535°C (when at atmospheric pressure)
Water boils at 100°C (when at atmospheric pressure)
Human skin is comfortable with temperatures up to about 60°C
The highest temperature recorded on the Earth's surface is 58°C (Libya 1922)

so as i pursue my dream of digging my way out of a problem it only gets worse, so much so there is no escape. you are in your personal hell. 4000 degrees Celsius of it. 4000 degrees Celsius converted to Fahrenheit is 7232 degrees. have fun in that one.

as i ramble on about my insecurities and problems there was one glimmer of hope. it came in the form of a friend. i believe God sends you people in your life even if it means that you mess up because of it. cause ultimately God knows your plan in life. all you have to do is listen, drop all the baggage of life in his hands and he will make everything better. on October 27Th, 2008 i woke up and said "I'm done". an epiphany flashed in my eyes... i guess its what God has been waiting for me to say for the past 22 years and 343 days.



i found this picture online when i typed the word dreams into google images. ill tell you what i think of it cause i dont care what people think. ill be that idiot that chases rainbows. at least im chasing something. so many people now a days go through life waking up, going to work, coming home, eating dinner and going to bed. and doing the same cycle all over again. when was the last time YOU smiled? laughed? cried? i do all three everyday. especially when this society has become a society of "only idiots chase dreams". at least i have one

I Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things.

remember people 22 years 343 days.